Lolzzz! If you are tired of your boyfriend or you are dying to kick him to the curb, then here are 8 tricks to make him disappear.
But be warned: These suggestions are potent. Use at your own risk! (*winks)
- Ask him if you’re fat
a.) Ask him if your hips look big in your new skinny jeans
b.) Look at him expectantly.
c.) Depending on his answer, either accuse him of lying or burst into tears. That’ll teach him that he can do nothing right! (lolzzzz)
2. Say “I don’t know” when he asks you what
you
want to do for dinner
- Point out his errors when he
tries to help
Whenever he assists you in doing anything or offering help, don’t waste any time in pointing out errors. E.g blame him for the drinking glasses in the wrong place (really?)
- Prioritize your electronics over him
If a text comes in (while you on a date with it), answer it. If you need to share your weather concerns on
Facebook, go ahead. Even if he’s talking to you. Doing that will hurt his ego.
- Belittle his profession/Occupation
- Watch terrible reality TV whenever he’s around (OMG!)
There are some really really really boring reality television shows that bore Guys.
- Talk about how hot other guys are
Some of your guy’s friends are attractive, you have to admit. Now mention it out loud. To add fuel to the fire, chatter constantly about how
sexy his best friend is and how you would give anything for handsome male stars to sweep you off your feet.
- Read his emails, check his texts and draw insane conclusions
Even when you know the text if from his businees associate or colleague, go frenzy about it. He got a text from a “Sherri?” Who’s “Sherri?” Why is she texting him
“See you at 12?” What? She’s his firm’s 60-year-old client? No, she’s
not! She’s obviously his mistress, and he was meeting her at the Hilton
for a nooner! It’s confrontation time, and your man has no idea what
level of crazy paranoia he’s in for.
