“I can’t rely on someone for everything” Lola Omotayo explains why she is not married to Peter Okoye yet

See excerpts below:

Many people got to know you when your relationship with Peter Okoye started. Who really is Lola Omotayo?
Simply
put, what you see is what you get. I can’t really define who I am per
se, but I’m humble, caring, loving and a professional in the oil and gas
profession. I take my work and family very seriously because they are
very important to me, my family in particular.
Your heartthrob, Peter is quite successful, but you seem not to depend on his wealth. What’s your driving force?
I
believe that as a lady, you have to support your partner. You can’t put
everything on your partner; it is important to add value as well. Even
though I’m not bringing as much as he brings to the table, at least, I’m
adding value and making things a lot easier.
Honestly, that’s the
way I was brought up; I can’t rely on someone for everything. I have to
be independent. I should be able to buy something for my kids without
asking their father for money. I feel good as a person knowing that I
can do things for myself, not that I want to feel above him in anyway,
but I just feel it is important for me to add some value to his life as
much as he adds to mine.

What advice do you have for Nigerian ladies who put all their financial burdens on their partner?
I
think that is the core of our problems in this society because we put
so much pressure on the man to take care of us, pay our bills…we put so
much pressure on them, and that tempts some men to start doing some
shady businesses. Women put too much pressure on men in this part of the
world.
Also, a lot of women are greedy and lazy, so they just
want to get married and stop working. It doesn’t mean women should go
all out and work for the men, but somehow, you just have to make things
easy for him. I see a lot of young ladies out there; it is not as if
there are no jobs for them to do, the problem is that they don’t want to
do certain type of jobs, they want everything to come easy.
I
started the very hard way, I didn’t start the easy way like people
assume. I had to work myself up there because I had a vision. A lot of
young ladies in Nigeria see people driving fancy cars; carrying fancy
bags and assume that a man is supposed to do all of that for them, so
they sell themselves in order to get it. But you don’t have to do that.
You can always find ways to make money legally.
Assuming you
didn’t come from a wealthy family, how would you have coped, considering
the tight economic situation of the country?
I think it is
still about family values. I came from a humble background; I didn’t
come from a very rich background. My parents worked really hard and I
saw the care that they took to ensure that they instil the best on their
kids, so I drew my strength from there.
You have to fight for
whatever you want; if it is education that will take you there, then,
you have to go to school and ensure that you get the needed degree. And
if you are creative, you can do other things, may be design clothes and
all that.
It doesn’t have to be a big job. Dangote didn’t start
with millions of dollars, so you have to be focused and work on it
gradually to get to where you are going. In fact, coming from a
privileged background is difficult because it won’t make you enjoy how
life really is. For me, my father really threw me to the dogs; he wanted
me to see how life was.
He could have enrolled me to some fancy
schools when I was growing up, but he wanted me to see how life is. He
made me rub shoulders with people who had nothing. I have friends who
came from rich background and today, they have nothing. I also have
friends who came from poor homes and today they are doing well. It is
about values and hard work.

Ironically, some Nigeria men don’t like ladies who don’t depend on them. How has that been between you and Peter?
I
love Peter because he was never intimidated. When I met him, he was
just trying to build himself and I was very proud of him. I have a lot
of respect for him, his talent and I saw that he had a vision. Peter
doesn’t get intimidated by anything; in fact, he supports and encourages
me all the time. I think he’s happy that he doesn’t have to do
everything; he can rely on me that I will take care of our kids.
What actually attracted you to Peter?
Peter
has drive. He has vision and pursues it. He doesn’t let anybody
distract him from that vision and that I saw in him, which a lot of
people didn’t see. Some people were like, ‘what are you doing with a
musician? Are you crazy?’ but I saw something very different and unique
about Peter.
I saw the goals he set for himself and how he
accomplished those goals step by step, and I was very impressed with
that. I also saw that he wasn’t a selfish person.
He was a
generous person from the outset, even though he didn’t have much then,
he was always generous. I like a man who is generous, not for the
financial reason, but also to see how he can add value to other people’s
lives; that is very important to me. He is also a good listener; he
listens to people, listens to me…those are the things that attracted me
to Peter.  He’s an amazing guy.

How romantic is he?
Peter
is very romantic as well. He does things that an average Nigerian guy
will not do. There was a Valentine’s Day that he came to my house with a
guitar and played some love ballads for me. That was really cool and I
loved it. Those are the little things that he does that really touched
me.
How challenging is it to date a celebrity?
Having
a relationship with a musician is one of the most challenging
situations to be in. There are things you have to deal with; a lot of
women, intruders, fans. You have to appreciate and respect the fans, but
you also have some of them who are thinking of other things. I think
it’s one of the most challenging relationships one can have.
You
won’t even spend much time with your partner because he’s on the road
most of the time doing shows and concerts; even during holidays like
Christmas, Easter and New Year, they are not around. So I’m not really
enjoying that part. But I thank God that we are managing it very well.