written by Joey Akan.
Christmas is here again with all its trappings
and fun, and we can’t seem to have enough of the merriment. Gifts change
hands, sonorous songs stream from our stereos, kitchens get stocked,
and stomachs get stuffed.
and fun, and we can’t seem to have enough of the merriment. Gifts change
hands, sonorous songs stream from our stereos, kitchens get stocked,
and stomachs get stuffed.
But not for celebrities. A celebrity at Christmas is a whore. Yes you read that correctly.
A
celebrity’s life at Christmas isn’t a life of joy and happiness. It is
one of immense work, jetlag, painkillers, expectations, contracts,
appearances, performances, exhaustion and loneliness. While you have
loved ones all around you, their smiles lighting up your waking moments,
celebrities have their work crew with them, pushing them beyond their
limits in the pursuit of money.
celebrity’s life at Christmas isn’t a life of joy and happiness. It is
one of immense work, jetlag, painkillers, expectations, contracts,
appearances, performances, exhaustion and loneliness. While you have
loved ones all around you, their smiles lighting up your waking moments,
celebrities have their work crew with them, pushing them beyond their
limits in the pursuit of money.
The festive season
is made for events. Big budget events that draw crowds in their
millions, and celebrities in their numbers. The singers and actors are
needed to make these shows a success.
is made for events. Big budget events that draw crowds in their
millions, and celebrities in their numbers. The singers and actors are
needed to make these shows a success.
I have had
the privilege of picking the brains of many celebrities, and each one I
ask about Christmas, they dismiss it with a measure of arrogance and
say, ‘there is no Christmas for me, na so so show I go dey attend.” Then
I notice something more. At that moment, a fleeting look of desperate
longing moves across their eyes. It’s a longing for normalcy and the
simple things at Christmas. They miss their lives, and they long for it.
the privilege of picking the brains of many celebrities, and each one I
ask about Christmas, they dismiss it with a measure of arrogance and
say, ‘there is no Christmas for me, na so so show I go dey attend.” Then
I notice something more. At that moment, a fleeting look of desperate
longing moves across their eyes. It’s a longing for normalcy and the
simple things at Christmas. They miss their lives, and they long for it.
But
no. they can’t afford the luxury of not attending shows and making
money via performance and appearance fees. Sure they have the choice of
screaming ‘to hell with everything’ and travelling to be with their
loving families. But they risk becoming broke.
no. they can’t afford the luxury of not attending shows and making
money via performance and appearance fees. Sure they have the choice of
screaming ‘to hell with everything’ and travelling to be with their
loving families. But they risk becoming broke.
A
broke celebrity is like a leper. The stigma is worse than being the
victim of some contagious terminal disease. Without money, a celebrity
encounters a number of problems. First, they cannot maintain the
unrealistic standards of living that society expects from them. They
cannot eat at normal restaurants, board commercial vehicles, buy clothes
at popular bargain spots, or even walk the street freely. But that’s
the simple part of being broke.
broke celebrity is like a leper. The stigma is worse than being the
victim of some contagious terminal disease. Without money, a celebrity
encounters a number of problems. First, they cannot maintain the
unrealistic standards of living that society expects from them. They
cannot eat at normal restaurants, board commercial vehicles, buy clothes
at popular bargain spots, or even walk the street freely. But that’s
the simple part of being broke.
The worst of it
comes from their colleagues. Celebrities are quick to spot other broke
celebrities, and they make a pledge to avoid them at all costs. Once a
celebrity goes broke, other celebrities flee for their lives. They talk,
and spread rumours about the financial state of their colleague. Many
drink to it, and vainly beat their chests, with pride. Pride in the
knowledge that they aren’t broke. Not yet.
comes from their colleagues. Celebrities are quick to spot other broke
celebrities, and they make a pledge to avoid them at all costs. Once a
celebrity goes broke, other celebrities flee for their lives. They talk,
and spread rumours about the financial state of their colleague. Many
drink to it, and vainly beat their chests, with pride. Pride in the
knowledge that they aren’t broke. Not yet.
With so
much on the line, nobody wants to lose a chance at getting money at
Christmas, via the punishing performance schedules, long hour flights,
painkiller addiction, exhaustion, and self-doubts. The other option is
worse than this. They have spent all year praying for clients, and with
this festive season comes immense work.
much on the line, nobody wants to lose a chance at getting money at
Christmas, via the punishing performance schedules, long hour flights,
painkiller addiction, exhaustion, and self-doubts. The other option is
worse than this. They have spent all year praying for clients, and with
this festive season comes immense work.
Celebrities
do not have lives at Christmas. They are whores, chasing money with
every ounce of their being. Thy do this not because they want to, but as
a matter of necessity.
do not have lives at Christmas. They are whores, chasing money with
every ounce of their being. Thy do this not because they want to, but as
a matter of necessity.
You are lucky not to be a celebrity at Christmas.
