If you offended me in university, secondary school… I still remember.
If you, in fact offended me in primary school… trust *snaps fingers*
that I haven’t forgotten. If you’ve wondered why we aren’t friends on
Facebook or I refused to follow on twitter so that we can play catch up?
I just summed it up for you. The humane thing would be to apologize but
I’m already sure you don’t remember -ergo! I don’t want pity-apology.
Wait.
This is not about me- not really… I just opened with this to assure
you that when it comes unforgiveness; my FLSC, WAEC and BSC are child’s
play. I used to find it hard to forgive. I don’t forget. EVER. It gets
so bad that even if I don’t remember the crime, I’ll remember there’s a
grudge I should be holding against you (unhealthy).
So trust me, I mean… bank on me beyond reasonable doubt when I tell you this:
unforgiveness and not forgetting aren’t the same
unforgiveness: this shit can kill you.
not forgetting: coping mechanism
Example: Once, I tried to confront someone about what he(asshole accused) put me(victim) through. I narrated my story
Accused: huh?&@#^%%$
Just when I was expecting an apology
Accused: ah-ahn… since that time? (laughs hard) okay, sorry.
I ( victim fool) walked away feeling stupid and fairly suicidal
The truth is, if i said something earlier… he may not have been quite sorry but he wouldn’t be this amused either.
Bear with me a while longer…
If someone offends you and like me you can’t talk about it… please,
let it go.I plead this for your sanity, on behalf of your future
relationships… and of course your heart because I agree with Louis
Like everything worth doing, you may not get it right the first time
but keep at it, go out of your way to forgive …don’t blame your
short-comings on human nature because.. Mark said it best
which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” – Mark
Twain, American novelist (1835-1910)
After the pain and the anger comes a certain numbness that you may not be wilful enough to wake up from, Madiba insists that
And if you want to talk about human nature, talk about the fact that
we fight sympathy in ourselves and expect it everyday from others… “self
preservation”. Dr. Maya puts it eloquently.
innocent that a person who is apt to be murdered believes that the
murderer, just before he puts the final wrench on his throat, will have
enough compassion to give him one sweet cup of water.” Dr. Maya Angelou
Sometimes we’re so broken… you know, the people who hurt us break us
because we’ve given them the power to (nothing wrong with that). Always
remember that love is first a choice before it becomes a feeling. So you
take back that power, use it to solder yourself into another form, a
better form. Ben makes us understand that sometimes
Yet you need to
and they will vanish in the wind because, and i agree with Ann,
hit back. You’re done. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to
have lunch with the person.” – Anne Lamott, American novelist (1954- )
ergo! If you must remember, remember in your wisdom and not to
necessarily live in fear of the road not taken especially when it’s
ourselves we refuse to forgive. I hope to forgive too (myself and
others)… because frankly it’s like mental obesity (not forgiving, I
mean) packing all that fat hate without exercising release.
Again
If you offended me in university, secondary school, I still remember…
if you in fact offended me in primary school, trust *snaps fingers*
that I haven’t forgotten. if you’ve wondered why we aren’t friends on
Facebook or I refused to follow on twitter so that we can play catch up?
I just summed it up for you. The humane thing would be to leave me
alone …if you offended me recently, I promise I’m working on it… I’ll
finally forgive you and why not because it’s like I say.
and rearrange then as they were. We are to fit in new forms, shape-shift
and thrive on the short-comings and exceptions that make us who we are.
Remember that the next time you fall apart– Obiamaka Ifejika, i havent decided what i am (1989- )
Sometimes we lose face, lose taste, lose ourselves… But it never
really hurts as much as when we lose expression, no? We’re gonna keep
that. It becomes everything. Good weekend then?
P.S. i realize this topic is much more in-depth but have this part
covered first and i just might tell you how not-forgetting can be a
problem too.
My wonderful readers, I’ll have a story for you next week. (this is me working at being consistent) Be Light #Bossa
