Betty and Soni Irabor
If anyone is in the perfect position to give valuable advice on what a successful marriage is, Betty Irabor definitely would be one of them.
Coming off celebrating the 34th anniversary of her wedding to Soni Irabor on Saturday, July 29, the Genevieve Magazine founder and publisher shared words young couples should take to heart.
‘What Soni and I have has taken all of 34 years to build.. So don’t for one minute think it happened overnight,’ she began.
‘We have walked on that street called hope but having each other
makes it bearable. A successful marriage doesn’t happen over night it
requires sacrifice and it takes effort and nurturing.’
That was not all, though, as she went on to tell young couples to be
patient in their marriage and not be eager to ‘impress their audience.’
‘You want a good marriage? Work at it! Young couples seem to just
want everything NOW NOW because they have to prove a point and impress
their audience and in the process put a lot of pressure on their
marriage.
‘A [good] Marriage takes two, it thrives on love in action not in
mere words. Marriage requires commitment, empathy , TRUST (leave each
other’s phones ALONE) don’t marry anyone you cannot trust!
‘Don’t overburden each other with over expectations and believe
me the grass is not greener on the other side; avoid comparing your
marriage/partner to others that seem rosier; water your own garden! In
life everything is turn by turn.
‘Ojukokoro [Greed] is a vice that destroys relationships! If you both can’t afford it then you don’t need it.
‘Let [your] marriage grow organically. Do everything in love..don’t overburden each other with unrealistic demands.
‘Marriage won’t necessarily fix a bad relationship especially if
your partner has habits that he/she won’t let go. Fix those issues
before you say I DO!’
The Irabors have been married for 34 years
She touched on domestic violence as well, stating that marriage won’t fix a partner who’s been abusive before your wedding day.
‘If he or she is violent and slaps you around now, marriage won’t
fix that, if he is insecure because you are a boss woman, that
insecurity may linger and lead to resentment with time.
‘Be careful who you marry..don’t set yourself up because ‘all your friends are getting married..’ That’s a trap!
‘Don’t over try to change your partner into who they are not;
marriage isn’t about changing your partners essence rather it is about
finding the good in each other.
‘Celebrate each bite size milestone. A successful marriage starts
from the foundation .. If the foundation is not built on CHRIST how can
it withstand the storms?’
She ended her piece of advice with this:
‘To my young daughters and sons out there I say, don’t despise
the days of humble beginnings and don’t allow anyone or society force
you into a marriage you’re not ready for.
‘If you marry In haste you will repent at leisure.. As for me, I believe marriage rocks ..but get ready to work it.’
